Who wants to give me herpes?

Sunday, 3:30pm. The roommate and I are, of course, watching Lifetime. A Valtrex commercial comes on. We have the following conversation:

Me: Herpes looks fun!
TR: I know. You get to date really hot guys!
Me: And run through fields!
TR: Why do girls with herpes get to have all the fun?
Me: Look at that, they're sailing!
TR: And having a romantic candelit dinner.
Me: They're so going to do it.
TR: I want herpes!
Me: Me too. From now on, "Do you have herpes?" is going to be one of my standard first date interview questions. We're missing out.