People I've blamed my McDonald's consumption on

The ex, for making me so upset I required food therapy.
Those bastards who laid me off so I couldn't afford real food.
The McDonald's corporation, for making bad food taste so good.
America, for having so little concern for obesity.
Mom, for taking me there when I was young and impressionable.
The F-Train conductor, for bypassing 2nd Avenue and dropping me off right in front of the McDonald's on Delancey.
God.