Are you there God? It's me, Jessica

It's impossible to truly enjoy a Judy Blume moment when you're forced to live it with a male friend.

I was lamenting to Jake that my recent weight loss has, in fact, erased the boobs completely. Gone. Bye bye. It was fun while it lasted. I told him the title of the autobiography, if ever I do something spectacular that warrants one, will be The Tragic Disappearance of my Tits. He asked me if exercises can be done to fluff the pillows, so to speak.

Yes, yes there are. You bend your arms at 90-degree angles and do an inward/outward motion while concentrating very hard and saying...

We must
We must
We must increase our bust!

Jake didn't appreciate, or get the reference. It was so sad to live that moment alone.