Talents

I was watching an old Friends episode last night. It was Thanksgiving, Phoebe smuggled in a puppy, Rachel's hot assistant came -- hilarity ensued. Ross couldn't name all 50 states. I was floored by this, because not only can I name all 50 states, I can do it in alphabetical order.

So then I started thinking about useless talents I have. I can hula hoop like a rock star. Seriously - I never drop the hoop. I just stop when I get bored. I do some of my best thinking with a hula hoop circling my waist. While it earned me a 1st place ribbon during my 4th grade Field Day, I don't see much real-life application for that one.

Not a talent, but something freakish that I should be able to do something with -- I have the longest tongue on Earth. Seriously. I put Gene Simmons to shame.

Once, Julie and I were at Kelly's, a dance club in Yonkers (we lived there briefly). She went up to the bar to get drinks, came back with no drinks, grabbed my hand and dragged me up to two guys at the bar.

Stick out your tongue, she commanded.

Turns out she'd gone up to the bar and one of the guys had informed her that his friend had the longest tongue on Earth. Julie bet him a drink that he was wrong. She won. He bought her a drink. So I guess my tongue has been useful in getting Julie those silly, fruity drinks she likes. Oddly enough, no one bought ME a drink. I feel a little exploited, in retrospect.