Misunderstood song lyrics: a story in four parts

Part I: Julie

It's 1995, and I'm home for the summer. Julie and I are driving up to Saratoga. You Oughta Know is on. We sing. Loudly.

Does she sing eloquently? And will she have your babies?

Julie: Is that a language?
Me: Is what a language?
Julie: Alaquonney. Where do they speak that?
Me: There is seriously something wrong with you.

Part II: The Prequal

The year is 1993. I'm driving Julie and Amanda home from high school. Senior year. I Will Always Love You (Whitney, not Dolly) comes on the radio. We hate it, but we sing. Loudly.

Bittersweet...Memories...that is all...you've given...to meEEEEEEEEE

Julie: Is that the guys name?
Amanda: What guy?
Julie: From the movie
Me: The Bodyguard?
Julie: Yes
Amanda: Is what the guy's name?
Julie: Maurice. Bittersweet man Maurice.
Me: Are you retarded?

Part III: Brenda's story

Several years ago, my friend Jenn and I were talking about the upcoming release of the movie Four Rooms. It was hot on the heels of Quentin Tarantino's success with Pulp Fiction, so people were really buzzing about it. Jenn's major source of anticipation, however, was the fact that Jennifer Beals was coming out of retirement.

So we both started feverishly chirping about how much we loved Flashdance and how cool we thought Jennifer was. I'm sure there was rapid Snoopy-like stomping to "Maniac" tossed in there too.

Which brings us to the soundtrack... Jenn's father would quickly and forcefully turn off Irene Cara's "What a Feeling" any time he heard the opening bars on the radio, emanating from his daughter's stereo, etc. He found the lyrics to be vulgar.

I couldn't quite figure out what was so sexually charged about the song until Jenn sung her father's version... "Take your pants down [do do do doot doot doot] and make it happen..."

Part IV: The Return of Julie

Julie: You know that few brackets song?
Me: No.
Julie: Yes you do.
Me: Sing it.

In a world of few br-ackets

Me: Human wreckage, Julie. In a world of HUMAN WRECKAGE.
Julie: Damn, I really thought I had that one. I put a lot of thought into it.
Me: That's frightening.
Julie: No, like they were talking about how people can just run amok in society today. Because there's so few brackets.
Me: How exactly are we friends again?

The end.