I've met my soul mate! Finally!

This is an excerpt from a dude's profile that wrote to me on Nerve. And no, I didn't write back (in case you were wondering):

MORE ABOUT WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR
FEMALE COMPANION, East Village:
Are You a Teamplayer? Busy unemployed junkie seeks nubile employed motherfigure with cable. Computer and administrative skills essential.
Heterosexuality helpful. Soulmates and Kidney thieves need not apply.