Now presenting, the class of 1993

So, my 10 year high school reunion is coming up in just a few short weeks, and I'm getting all nostalgic. Allow me to share some of my fondest high school memories with you.

You know that girl, the slut? The one that had the most unbelievable rumors circulating about her, and everyone believed them? Yep, that was me. I was so not a slut. In fact, in high school, I was a serial monogamist, and there's not really anything sexy about having sex with the boyfriend you've been with for a year. Actually, I was notorious before I ever even had sex. Granted, I did dress slutty (think Kelly Bundy), and the hair defied gravity, and I had no use for any of the guys that went to MY high school. But that doesn't mean I:

Got pregnant and didn't know who the father was.
OD'd on cocaine and lost the baby
Carried on a sordid tryst with my hot friend Matt behind the backs of our respective significant others.
Married serial-killer-to-be Dan King, also of my graduating class, post-graduation.

I do believe there was also something about giving several blow jobs at a party, making out with my female first cousin and I'm also fairly certain I ended up being That Hot Dog Girl. The truth? I've never had a one night stand, never even went down on a guy until after college and cringe at the idea of butt sex. And I'm pretty sure I'm going to get very drunk at my reunion and tell this same story over and over. Oy.