I'm going to hell

I had sex with a priest.

Okay, so he wasn't a man of the cloth at the time, but still. I found out the other night that an old boyfriend, li'l Mike from da Bronx, has joined the priesthood. I. Am. So. Blown. Away.

I can't really say I saw any signs. I mean, sure, it was college, but the kid was a punk. He got in fights - lots of them. In fact, two frat boys bombarded my dorm room one night and beat him with a baseball bat and lacrosse stick because he started with them at a party. He also cheated on me (and not with God, mind you), told me about it very nonchalantly and said, "I don't want to break up over this or anything". Incidentally, after my throwing a telephone at him, that was the conclusion of our ten months together.

Now, he did go to church regularly. He also tried on several occasions to drag me with him, kicking and screaming. I went once, and spent the entire mass whispering dirty things into his ear while he blushed and told me to shut up between clenched teeth. Now I wonder if I missed out on my opportunity to be saved.

Oh. My. God. Did I mention I had sex with a priest?