Some tips for getting your point across over IM

Let's face it, kids. It's easy to have a misunderstanding over IM. Without facial expressions, voice inflections and flagrant passive aggression, it's hard to tell what the person on the other end of the window really means.

For example, "k" instead of "ok" might cause the recipient of said agreement to respond with "are you mad at me?" or, even worse, not respond and spend days, weeks, even years silently obsessing until your friendship disintegrates. And who wants that?

Then there's sarcasm. That's a toughie to get across with such limited resources. And if you're like me, you dig the sarcasm in a big way.

So what's the answer, you ask? Well, there are several. The first is a matter of etiquette. If you have to leave your computer, tell the person you're talking to. I know it's not always possible, but it's not always impossible either. This is especially important if a heated exchange has just taken place. We don't want any hurt feelings, people.

Next, be clear. If you want to stress a word, put it in caps. Put it in italics. D-O T-H-I-S or don't, because it's obnoxious, frankly. If you think someone might not get that you're kidding, put a little winking face at the end ;-) or get mad geeky and write an end sarcasm tag (I'd put an example but blogger is reading it as an actual tag and won't display it.) If you're happy for someone, say "cool!" not simply "cool", because that sounds insincere. Congrats! should also have an exclamation point. Awesome, fabulous and spectacular are fine on their own (if used sarcastically, see above).

Use questions marks. If you respond to something I write with "huh" I don't know if you mean "huh?" or "huh!" (as in, "Who knew." or "Ain't that a pisser!") "Hmm" is very hard to decipher, unless it is in response to a question seeking advice or ideas and you got nothing.

Now, there is an exception to every rule. The exception in this case would be flirting. Because really, isn't it more fun when the other person can't quite figure out what you're trying to say? In that case, do the exact opposite of everything I've taught you here.

Happy IM-ing, kids!