Regarding food

My boss is oddly obsessed with food. Other people’s. He, on the other hand, eats the same breakfast every day. Yogurt. And the same lunch. Grilled chicken over romaine lettuce. Cherry tomatoes. Croutons. Lowfat Catalina dressing on the side. Two bags of Baked Lay’s potato chips. Diet Coke. I know because I usually have to order it for him. Dinner, I’m not there for.

At first, I thought he was just trying to get me to eat at the company cafeteria. I figured, he’s the CFO, he knows how much money they’re paying for it – naturally he wants to encourage people to eat there. On my first day of work, he extolled the virtues of the café, and interrogated me about my lunch when I returned. He wanted to know where I went (Subway), what I had (6-inch veggie patty with horseradish, Baked Doritos, Diet Coke) and how much it cost ($5.79). He then explained I could get the same thing at the cafeteria for at least a dollar cheaper. Duly noted.

The next morning, he stopped by my desk and picked up the Zone bar I was getting ready to eat for breakfast. After reading the back, he asked how often I ate them, and if my intention was to lose weight. When I explained it was more a matter of time, he led me through the breakfast menu at the cafeteria.

Last week, he was on a food tear. When I returned from Café 508 with my grilled chicken salad, he nearly squealed when he asked where I had gotten it and how much it cost. He could barely contain himself. He called Jeff over to look at my salad, exclaiming “Look at how much chicken they put on that!”. Then he shifted gears. He wanted to know where Jeff had lunch. McDonald’s. What he had. Chicken nuggests. Meal? Yes? Supersized? Yes. Anything else? A cheeseburger – he only ate half. Why? He dropped it on the floor. Who did he go with? Peggy. What did she have? Big Mac Meal. Supersized? No. Hey Jessica, what kind of dressing is that on the salad? Is it Lowfat?

I know there’s a link between food and sexual appetite, and I really don’t want to entertain any thoughts that might have to do with my boss and sex (ewww), but I’m thinking someone’s a little bored with their lunch, if ya know what I mean.