Happy Pride!

This was all up in the Brooklyn sky yesterday, proof that God loves the gays. Or is gay. Or both.

Home Alone

When TYM left for Krakow on Monday, I was a tiny bit psyched. I knew I would miss him, but I also knew that I could spend my six days alone doing things like not showering, wearing granny panties and sweats, not shaving, drinking wine for no reason, watching things like "So You Think You Can Dance," "He's Just Not That Into You," and "Twilight," and eating exotic things like mushrooms and fish. Obviously, I had Very Big Plans for Very Awesome Alone Time.

See, I'm a person who craves Alone Time. Before TYM and I moved in together, we only saw each other three or four nights a week. When we first moved in, I was worried that I wouldn't have enough Alone Time and go all sorts of crazy. Incidentally, that didn't happen. We're still working out the whole hanging-with-friends-hanging-with-each-other-hanging-alone balance, but the process is made much easier by the fact that we actually enjoy each other's company.

I had some fun dinners with my ladies this week, but you know what? Overall, it has sucked. I'm all listless and bored, and I can't sleep. I stay up until 2:00 in the morning playing Mario Kart against Japanese teenagers. It's a sad state of affairs at Chez Jess. I'm living like a bachelor, and not in a fun, party way -- more like a sad, lonely, unhygienic way.

Do you feel bad for me? Good. Though you'll feel less bad for me when I tell you I'm leaving tomorrow night to meet TYM in Berlin for a week of frolicking, I'm guessing. So don't expect any blog posts for the next week, but there might be a Twitter or two from the road. And I may have some sexy announcements regarding body art and Internet fame when I return. Auf Wiedersehen, bitches!

On Snuggling

Me: [Lying in the middle of the bed with my legs and arms spread out as far as they'll go] This is how I'm going to sleep the whole time you're in Krakow. I'm going to take up the entire bed.

TYM: Is that even comfortable?

Me: It is! Plus, I can get a nice stretch while I sleep.

TYM: Someday when we get a real bed, we can both sleep like that.

Me: Yeah, but if we get a big, huge bed, we'll never snuggle. We'll just stay on our own sides.

TYM: And here I thought we were CHOOSING to snuggle, not just doing it out of necessity because we were all mashed up next to each other.

Me: Oh. Um. Yeah. We do.

Bad Poetry I Wrote As a Teenager

Short and sweet, this poem is an excellent example of how just a few small words can have a giant, profound impact.

Love is like a bird
That never wants to touch the ground
Free and Unrestrained [Ed: Not sure why I capitalized "Unrestrained" there, but I'm sure I had a Very Important Reason at the time]
And when it's flight is over
With a wound to scar each wing
It's never able to fly again

In addition to a poet, I was also a budding avian veterinarian, apparently. "Sorry m'am, but this bird's flight is over. I regret to inform you that Peanut will never, ever fly again."

On Notice

Hey, did you know you can make your own "On Notice" board, just like Stephen Colbert? Well, you can. Here's mine:



I should probably explain:

Squirrels: Currently terrorizing my porch.

Rachael Ray: Permanent placement, obviously.

Milton Friedman disciples: I'm reading Naomi Klein's book The Shock Doctrine.

Proprietary content management systems: Seriously companies, you don't have to build your own. There are perfectly user-friendly ones that you can buy, that have already been tested and work just fine. I promise.

Cheese: Don't get me wrong, I love cheese. Which is why I don't understand why it has to hurt me so.

Chi-Chi on Daisy of Love: He is so gross and creepy and awful. Seriously, he makes my skin crawl.

Uncomfortable Sandals: It's just that time of year. Ow.

Bro movies: I'm looking at you, Judd Apatow. This is all your fault.

Make yours! Via Brooklyn Trout

Adorable... Just Like Dawn Weiner

Last night, I emerged from the bedroom wearing red yoga pants, an aqua blue T-shirt with seahorses on it, and sneakers.

TYM: Ha ha ha.

Me: What?

TYM: Ha ha ha. Look at your pants.

Me: Shut up--I'm about to work out.

TYM: Ha ha ha. No, they're adorable.

Me: Shut up.

TYM: Ha ha ha. You look like a 14-year old in the 90s.

Me: Shut up.

TYM: Ha ha ha. You look like Dawn Weiner.

Me: SHUT UP.

I Heart Covers

Last week on So You Think You Can Dance, this chick in a tutu did a solo to a slow, creepy, haunting version of Britney Spears' "Toxic." Now, I'm not sure if you know this about me, but the two things I happen to love more than anything in the world are Britney Spears and awesome covers. Put the two together and, well, I just may pee my pants a little. Here's Yael Naim's version of "Toxic."